I Dare … Me Too

I hesitate ... and I don't know why.

No, I know why. 

Because there is still shame, embarrassment, the risk of criticism in sharing. Acknowledging the ugly pulls a shade of gray over an otherwise shiny and sunny day. But here is the truth, we MUST share our stories. The change we are seeking can only be achieved if we are open and upfront about our experiences. 

The experience I am referring to is that of blatant disrespect for our persons. Our personal boundaries as women. And, yes, as men. Abuse goes both ways, my lovelies.

About a year ago, flowers were delivered to my house. Normally this would bring me joy and a huge smile. But not this time. You see, these flowers were delivered to my house by a man that I had asked several months before to never contact me again. A man that displayed to me irrational behavior. A man my friends were legitimately afraid for my well being. He was jealous, insecure, obsessive, and clearly an individual with issues who made him someone that you could not reason with. I drew hard boundaries and dismissed him from my life. Blocked him from being able to contact me. 

Apparently these measures only go so far. Because he found a way to text me (I promptly deleted it). As I didn't respond to his text, and he was now blocked from all forms of communication devices, his next step was to send me flowers. 

Seems harmless, right?

NO.

This is the thing; we have boundaries for a reason. The most important reason to feel safe. The seemingly innocent act of sending flowers after you have been told to cease all forms of communication is STILL disrespecting those boundaries. I felt violated. At my home! When someone blatantly can’t take No for an answer, who is to say the next act won’t be to SHOW UP at my house? Or worse.

We are facing challenging times. The news is fraught with women coming out and sharing stories of disrespect, bodily and verbal abuse, discrimination, and so on. It might seem like it’s becoming too much. It might feel like we should start questioning the validity of the accusations and the stories these women are telling. To judge someone’s story and compare it to others. I say no, ladies and gents. Not this time. This time we need to …

EMBRACE each other,

be COMPASSIONATE,

SUPPORT one another,

SHARE louder,

STAND tall,

INVITE the good men of the world to join us,

LOVE.

This is not the worse story I could tell of being a victim of abuse. I chose this story because it is the most recent. And to prove that it doesn’t have to be the worst imaginable act to still be considered a boundary violation and an fearful thing to experience.

I want all to share their stories. To feel confident in owning their experiences, without shame, resentment, or judgement. To help educate the masses that NOW IS THE TIME FOR CHANGE.

The silver lining in the news today? The 2018 election could end up being remembered for its women candidates. At least 95 women elected to the House alone. This is progress.

Are you ready to share your story and be part of the movement for change?

I am hoping that was a resounding “F*@K YES”!!